Want to Level Up? Discipline Is Where It Starts

Leadership often requires discipline, yet it’s a word many people resist. For leaders at every stage—including those developing new manager skills and women in leadership navigating growing responsibilities—discipline can feel restrictive or even negative. But what if discipline is actually the missing piece between the direction you want for your life and leadership and the results you hope to see?
In this episode of Crossroads and Catalysts, I explore why discipline is not a dirty word—and why it plays such a critical role in leadership, personal responsibility, and meaningful change. Whether you’re leading a team, developing your leadership mindset, or navigating important life decisions, discipline often determines whether our intentions become reality.
If you’re working to grow as a leader, strengthen your decision-making, or develop the discipline required to move toward the future you want, this episode will challenge the way you think about discipline and the role it plays in shaping your direction.
Because decisions may set the direction—but discipline is often what makes those decisions real.
This episode is for anyone developing leadership discipline, strengthening new manager skills, navigating women in leadership challenges, or building the personal responsibility required to lead yourself and others well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have a riddle for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm hardest at the start and easiest with time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a punishment, though something that's my crime.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the bridge between your goals and where you are.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What am I?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to get those guesses ready and I'll tell you on the other side.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Crossroads and Catalyst.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Sheneeta B.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is where we explore how a thoughtful, wise, and strategic perspective at life's crossroads can become the catalysts for meaningful change in leadership and your life's direction.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're new here and you enjoy thoughtful conversations about leadership, ownership, and navigating life's crossroads, make sure that you follow the show so that you do not miss an episode and connect with me at crossroadsandcatalyst.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I wanna know what word did you guess?
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you say a discipline, then kudos to you because you're an excellent guest sir.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What I really want to know is what comes to mind when you hear that word, because I think a lot of people get that word confused with punishment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They're often used interchangeably, which is a mistake, because it gives the false perception of what the word actually means.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why you have a lot of people who think of restriction and control as words to describe discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's go ahead and get this out of the way right from the start.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Discipline is not punishment and punishment is not discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It cannot be confused with the result that could happen as a result of a lack of discipline, which is ultimately punishment and maybe some severe consequences.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So then what is discipline?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know that I like definitions and we'd like to be clear about things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And Webster's dictionary tells us that it's an activity that one engages in regularly to train or improve oneself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So did you get that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Discipline is a choice that you make.
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[SPEAKER_00]: it's not something that is done to you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is something that is done for yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is something that you do for yourself, okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's make sure that we're clear about discipline, because discipline is a good thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and as I was thinking about this particular episode and talking about discipline, I thought about some of the things that I had experienced over the course of my whole life, not simply my career.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things that occurred to me was an opportunity that presented itself years ago, and it was an opportunity to go into business for myself, and there was one thing that was standing in the way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had to get additional education in order to pursue this particular opportunity and I already had a degree.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm sure you can already imagine that going back to school after having already finished was not something that was a priority for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But because of the goal that I had in mind,
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[SPEAKER_00]: it was something that I knew that I needed to pursue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this particular business venture was a child care center, and the purpose was I had my own child, and I wanted to be able to provide more hands on and not have to drop her off to someone else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to provide care for her.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to do it myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so what did I do?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I made the choice to go back to school and get the additional credentialing that I needed in order to pursue that, which require discipline, okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because of course, as you can imagine, a young mother taking care of responsibilities,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had to outline a process for myself in order to go back to school, take care of my daughter, make sure that all of my responsibilities were covered for this process.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I can tell you that it was well worth it, but at the time it definitely was not easy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't matter if you have been disciplined in your entire life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: or if you're just now getting to the point to where you recognize how important discipline is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: At some point, it may become easier, but sometimes it's not.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so the reality of it is, even though I had lived a relatively disciplined life, I had to buckle down, I had to start studying again, prepare for homework and presentations,
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[SPEAKER_00]: and go to school.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is when you actually had to show up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There was no login on and do virtual classes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You had to show up to school and the school was not close to my house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that was a big deal for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I did it and I took two courses and got it done over the period of about one semester and then I was good to go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But the point is that it cost me something
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to live a disciplined life, if you're going to live a successful life, discipline has to be a part of that process.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it will cost you something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the struggles that I think that we have today in our culture,
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[SPEAKER_00]: is this mindset that everything comes easily and that you'll be able to do whatever it is that you want to do, you'll be able to have all that you want, all of your needs and desires will be fulfilled and you don't really have to buckle down and do anything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think we know better if you've lived on this earth for any significant period of time, then you already know life is not easy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And anything worth having is going to require you to work for it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this reminds me even of a book that I'm reading with some ladies at church.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and this book is called Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus and one of these particular chapters is talking about discipleship and discipline and how different the Western and Eastern views are for that particular thing because in other cultures when it came down to teaching children and young people how to do a particular trade,
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[SPEAKER_00]: They would be sent to live with other families.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was not uncommon.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe the closest thing that we have to that in our society is sending our kids off to college, which in my estimation is nowhere near the same because the results and the outcomes
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you might not even recognize your children when they come home, but you know, I digress the getting back to my point in this book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's a story about a lady who is a potter and she's been a potter a potter for a number of years and she had the opportunity to travel to Japan and study under a master potter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what we're so compelling about this story is she thought that she was going to go there and she was going to jump right in and be able to show this master powder her skills and and be able to work with him and you know if she's going to be all all glory no goods right so this was a six month apprenticeship and what this master powder says to her.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's pretty compelling, so I'm going to read it to you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He says, you cannot separate life from work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The way that you do the most insignificant activity in your daily life will reflect in your work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, how true is that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And consider that this is someone who has experience speaking to someone
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[SPEAKER_00]: who thinks that they have experience and that they know what they're doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They are there to learn.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she goes on to say how that it pricked her pride because again, she thought that she was gonna go and show off and maybe even get some compliments and everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it didn't work out that way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so of course, another thing that also led me to think of was the karate kid.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you were around when karate kid was released, everybody knew.
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[SPEAKER_00]: uh, karate kid.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody was running around quoting lines from the movie, but everybody knew wax on and wax off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you got this kid who is wanting to get to get karate lessons for Mr. Miyagi.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when he comes in, he's put to work doing medial tasks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes what you have to do is pay your dues in order to get to the place where you want to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is what I think is really the point that we need to understand.
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[SPEAKER_00]: discipline is designed to strip us of the things that we don't need so that we can be prepared for the greater successes down the road.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that sometimes means letting go of some things that you'd like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Letting go of some bad habits that are really not that good for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe on the outset, they don't necessarily seem as though they're bad or that they're going to trip you up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But the further you move into your journey, the more you recognize that it's holding you back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: from the greatness that is destined for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But you have a choice in the matter again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to remember that because that is what should cause you to really take ownership because it's your choice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not someone else's choice, okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because this is the thing, your future self is begging you to do something today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we can come up with all kinds of excuses on avoiding things, why we shouldn't exercise discipline, you know, I've always done it this way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How many times have you heard that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: and how far has that gotten you or even people that you know and and don't even get me started on on the you can have everything myth because while there may be some anecdotal stories about people who seemingly have everything I can guarantee you you start having a deeper conversation with those people they'll explain to you some of the things that they had to let go of.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let me tell you, there's a child who feels like they didn't receive enough love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's a spouse who feels like they checked out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's the employee who feels like they were stepped on.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's a trail of damage that comes along.
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[SPEAKER_00]: with this notion that you can have everything, and I don't want to take for granted again that there are not situations where things have just worked out the way that someone planned.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I think we know better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If we're mature and we're being honest with ourselves, then we know that there is something that's that's going to have to be left by the wayside.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so you're going to have to make the choice to determine what those things are and sometimes it's going to be people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And by people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be people who are close to you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be a person that you call your best friend, but then you recognize that maybe you're not headed in the same direction as you thought that you were.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so this is why I say that discipline will require sacrifice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that we see examples of this all around us about having to sacrifice and the payoff that will be delivered as the result of our discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, even look at the Olympics, which is the Olympics, which are going on right now, the winter Olympics, and pretty soon the summer Olympics are gonna take place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When these athletes commit to it, they are going hard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: in order to win the gold for their opportunity to win the gold.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The pressure that they're under to perform, the regimens that they undergo in order to train and to keep their minds right,
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[SPEAKER_00]: They're not paying that coach to make them suffer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They know that that coach is there to assist them to get to the next place, to get where they want to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And think about Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Look at how big Apple is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that that occurred because he didn't exercise some form of discipline?
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[SPEAKER_00]: He was doing things repeatedly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to see if they weren't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And even the social media moguls, Instagram and Facebook and all of the others.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you talk to any successful person, you're going to recognize that discipline was a core characteristic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't have a choice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Otherwise, they wouldn't have reached the level of success that they achieved.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure that a lot of you do not have to look too far.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't even have to look at the headlines or look at Forbes or Fortune 500 magazine in order to find these examples.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You may see them in your very own family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Look at your parents and your grandparents and what they may have modeled for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Success.
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[SPEAKER_00]: does not always come with dollar signs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't even want to get those two things confused because they are not the same.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You will have to define what success looks like for yourself, but what you will definitely have to commit to is exercising discipline so that you can achieve whatever level of success it is that you have in your mind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want us to remember
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[SPEAKER_00]: Discipline is the bridge between where you are and where you want to go and who you are and who you want to be
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[SPEAKER_00]: I do not want you to despise the small things because discipline starts with those very seemingly insignificant things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we're talking about the things that are as simple as making your bed daily.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or how about saving money?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because a lot of people, they spend a lot of money on coffee and clothing and handbags and cars even.
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[SPEAKER_00]: all of these things matter, if you could start by saving just a few dollars a day or skipping buying the coffee or whatever vice that you might commit your money to on a regular basis, that you really might not be able to afford, then you will be making progress or what about exercise and eating healthy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All of these things are areas in your life where discipline must be exercised.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so then of course, that's just the personal life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are the things that are going to transition into your work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because again, leaders need discipline for all of these things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And where there is a gap in some of these other areas, they will show up at some point within your work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so the way that you do the most significant activity in your life, it's going to show up in your work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just like that quote that I mentioned to you earlier.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So ask yourself, does what others see align with what you see in your work and in your life?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're working to be a leader,
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to be disciplined, you're going to have to be committed, you're going to have to be accountable, reliable, responsible, you're going to have to be able to approach conflict management and deal with situations and scenarios that are not always appealing, nor favorable, you will have to exercise these things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And in order to do so and to do it in
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[SPEAKER_00]: in your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So discipline is not a dirty word that should be shunned.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Quite the contrary.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is a form of self-respect to be embraced.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You are demonstrating that you actually like yourself if you exercise discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you haven't heard it that way before.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But let me repeat that for you because I don't want you to forget it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Discipline is a form of self-respect to be embraced.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you really have goals and objectives that you want to meet, then you have to remove the excuses, and you have to decide that you're going to do that thing or those activities that are going to get you to that next step.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is completely up to you, and it is going to be your bridge to success.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you will either reinforce it with your decisions and actions or you will undermine it until it eventually falls apart.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to think about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to strategize on it, then I want you to click the calendar link in the show notes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you would like to look me to speak, go to my contact page at crossroads and catalyst.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am glad that you stopped by and that we had the opportunity to talk about discipline and the importance of it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Take it seriously, because if you really are looking to build something strong and to build a legacy, both in life and in your leadership, discipline is going to be the vehicle to get you there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I appreciate that you listened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time, be thoughtful, be wise, be strategic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And remember, crossroads reveal who you are, catalyst shape who you become, and every decision matters.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So make it count.




